When you first become chronically ill you go through a mourning processes of what you can no longer do which is very normally. This can take months and for some even a couple years. We all deal with things differently and there is no set amount of time this should take. But when you get “Stuck” in this mourning processes for an extended period of time it can become very debilitating emotionally and physically (Because the mind and body are connected). In fact, it can become more debilitating than your chronic illness itself.

So how can you move forward if you are “Stuck” in the mourning process and are angry, bitter, and resentful for what you feel has been taken away from you? The answer is very simple. Start focusing on what you CAN do instead of what you can no longer do. Take your attention away from the “lack” in your life and focus on what abundance you have in your life. Once you remove yourself from what you have lost and focus on what you NOW have and what you CAN do it is very empowering and can even help alleviate some of your physical pain. Letting go of the past and moving forward as the new you is key to getting “unstuck” out of focusing and living in the past. They say “You can’t move forward if you are always looking back.” This is very true! 

The mind and body are connected, so when we focus on the good in our life and have gratitude for what we do have (and not focus on what we don’t have) it improves our health! There is now scientific evidence that gratitude produces health benefits.

The research is summarized in Robert Emmons’ book Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier (Houghton Mifflin, 2007). Emmons and his colleagues at the University of California at Davis are among the pioneers in research on gratitude, part of a larger movement called positive psychology. Positive psychology, instead of focusing on illness and emotional problems, studies health-promoting behavior and the pleasurable parts of life.

Emmons’ book reports on several studies. In the first, he and his colleagues divided participants into three groups, each of which made weekly entries in a journal. One group wrote five things they were grateful for. Another group described five daily hassles and a control group listed five events that had affected them in some way. Those in the gratitude group felt better about their lives overall, were more optimistic about the future, and reported fewer health problems than the other participants. Results from a second study suggested that daily writing led to a greater increase in gratitude than weekly practice.

A third study reproduced the results among a group of people suffering from various neuromuscular diseases, including post-polio syndrome, which has symptoms similar to those in CFS. People using daily gratitude journals reported more satisfaction with their lives and were more optimistic about the future than the control group. Interestingly, the gratitude group also reported getting more sleep, spending less time awake before falling asleep and feeling more refreshed in the morning.

In a related study, researchers at the University of Connecticut found that gratitude can have a protective effect against heart attacks. Studying people who had experienced one heart attack, the researchers found that those patients who saw benefits and gains from their heart attack, such as becoming more appreciative of life, experienced a lower risk of having another heart attack.

Focusing on our disABILITIES

When we start to focus on what we can do and find pleasure in new things we might have once thought we would have never done, it stimulates the mind and keeps us in a place of emotionally wellbeing. Let’s use an example. If you were once a runner and that was your passion and you feel anger and resentment that you can no longer run, you might want to look into coaching runners or volunteering at a local marathon! Help register the runners or pass out water to the runners. Although you are not running, you are still participating in something you once loved and feel appreciated for your passion by helping others accomplish their goals of running and this is just one example. Here is a list of things that many people with chronic illness have found pleasure in.

• knitting and crocheting (Make beautiful gifts for family and friends)
• Photography
• learning an new instrument
• Foster puppy raiser for service animals before their training
• A fur baby foster parent for a local shelter (This saves lives)
• blogging about your illness to help other with the same thing you are dealing with
• Selling things you find on sale on Ebay (This can provide you with some income as well)
• Volunteering at a local convalescent home
• Extreme couponing (also saves you and your family money)
• Focusing on your health and wellness and making it a full time job
• Spending more time with family and friends
• Art (Painting, scrap booking, making homemade cards, pottery, poetry)